A Female Submissive Goes Pro-Domme: A Tale of Feminism and Self-AgencyI don’t know about you but I’ve never been able to keep my masochistic, submissive hunger at bay for very long. The safety and comfort of bondage, the delight of letting go as another takes over, the bite of the crop or cane or paddle that somehow strips the anxiety away, the delicious, tuned-out haze of subspace. I love it all. It sets me right and replenishes me.
For me, that means my pleasure (and sometimes my sanity) lay outside of my control. To get my needs met, to get my fix, to sate my hunger, to quiet the voices, I need to rely entirely on the skill and trustworthiness of another. Complicating matters further was inevitably sub frenzy that made good decision making nearly impossible. When my inner masochist begins to scream, “FEED ME!” my brain turns fuzzy, common sense evaporates, and all sorts of bad ideas start to become increasingly reasonable in my mind.
As a strong and independent woman, I hated the feelings that came from this frenzy. I hated feeling helpless. I hated feeling out of control. I hated being desperate and shameless. I hated being entirely dependent on another person. I felt like I compromised myself by playing with partners that weren’t great choices beyond a one hour scene.
I am not blaming my partners for my feelings. Most have been really amazing people and all scenes were negotiated honestly. No one made me do anything I didn't want to do. The problem was that I was never really negotiating from a a position of strengthen. I wasn’t ever really choosing what was best for me but rather finding an expedient and workable fix to a pressing problem.
Therefore, during my last kink dry spell, I vowed to do things differently!
I refused to be passive.
I refused to compromise my needs.
I refused to compromise my standards.
I hired a pro-Domme: @MissSimoneBWhile I am sounding all fierce and feisty in the here and now, the truth is that it took forever to get the courage to reach out to a professional.
The biggest hurdle: shame
Turns out that having agency and control over your own body is an absolutely glorious feeling and it doesn’t make you any less of a submissive. It is the ultimate act of self-love! Taking care of myself in the way I needed made me a happier person and therefore a better partner, parent, and friend.
Furthermore, engaging the services of a pro-Domme gave me a sense of power and agency over my own body that I had been missing for most of my years as a submissive. It gave me the power to be fed and satisfied when and how I wanted it. ON MY TERMS! I was freed from having to compromise my standards or self in any way.
The Joys of working with a Pro-Domme (and more specifically, @MissSimoneB)
It is helpful if you think of a Pro-Domme as someone similar to your masseuse, hair stylist and/or manicurist. Mine make me feel amazing, I appreciate them greatly and I love chatting with them but I know what the relationship is about. They provide a service and I pay them. Then we go separate ways until the next time.
A pro-Domme isn’t: